August 19, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
A Learning Curve
I knew when we decided to have #2 and all through my pregnancy that we were in for a whole new world of challenges. After all, it's been awhile--4 years in fact, since we had a newborn and we'd need to learn and re-learn a thing or two or a hundred. Not too mention getting used to managing dos bambinos with two very different sets of needs. Lately, I have felt so overwhelmed and sometimes incapable of being a good mother to both of my children and meeting their needs as best I can. One second, Sofia is content as can be and the next second it's meltdown city. One moment, Sydnei, is fed, changed, and sound to sleep, the next minute she's awake and whaling.
While trying to juggle the girls I'm also thinking about the house cleaning that needs to be done, the garage that needs organized the 50 errands I still need to run...the list goes on and on. My feelings of being overwhelmed have induced this utter sense of inadequacy. Thoughts have surfaced like: how in the world did my Mom do this? Why does that Mom seem to have it so together? And then it hits me, it's not automatic. Yes, most mother's are born with a keen sense of intuition but so much of our ability to love, nurture, and provide come with learning, practice, and time. So, that's where I am right now and that's okay. Gratefully, the perfectionist and inpatient side of my personality decided to buy into this concept this morning. What a relief. Thankfully, I feel a "little" less stressed to start my day and while thoughts continue to come to my mind such as: "Will I ever get the hang of this?" I remind myself to be patient and while I won't have motherhood 100% figured out today, guaranteed, with the right perspective and lots o' love we'll do just fine. Humbled? Yes. More grateful for the example, sacrifices, patience, and love of my own mother? Definitely. It's amazing what a little reality check and perspective shift can do.