My father passed away three years ago and my mother passed away one month ago yesterday. What I learned from the experience of my father's passing and what has again proved to be true for me is that I am a private griever. My heart is broken and my heart and deepest feelings aren't something I share with too many people. There are less than a handful of people in my life who have listened to some of my inner-most thoughts and heartache. Gratefully, they've been there for me during this time and I will never be able to thank them enough.
The person that has been there for me constantly and unwavering is my Savior, Jesus Christ. When I read about the Savior and his time on earth and all that he taught and preached and gave to mankind along with His atoning sacrifice for all of us I find comfort and enlightenment. I find comfort knowing that I'm not alone and that He really does 100% understand how I feel and the pain that I am experiencing.
My parents taught me about Jesus Christ and His love for each one of us. They raised me in a Christian home where Christ was and still is at the center of our lives. My father was a well-studied man with an immense amount of knowledge of the scriptures, the Holy Bible, and the Book of Mormon. My mother was devoutly faithful and always shared her testimony of our Savior. Together my parents taught me about the Eternal Plan of Salvation, which gives me hope and understanding about my purpose in this life and where my family and I will go when our time is finished on this earth.
At this time, I find comfort in the Savior and the knowledge that I have a Father in Heaven who loves me, who loves my parents, and who loves each and every one of His children no matter our mistakes and shortcomings. I long to have my parents back and feel lonely on earth without them. But I know, I'll see them again. While it doesn't take all of the pain away, I'm grateful for the testimony and knowledge I have and the loved ones surrounding me, who help to bear me up in the most difficult time of my life thus far. I appreciate them more now than ever before.
While I'm not privileged to know the Lord's purposes in all things, I trust Him. I trust Him with all of my heart and am humbled by my loss and His love for us. I have seen His hand in my life and recognize it now more than I ever have before.